GET . OUTSIDE . THE . BOX
At the end of my freshman year of high school in an attempt to get some direction, I prayed for God to tell me what I should do with my life. I wasn’t necessarily expecting to hear anything, but if I did, I thought it might be the name of a college, degree major, or job type. Instead, the word Cambodia was very clearly written across my mind. Embarrassingly, I didn’t even know where Cambodia was in the world–geography classes failed me, so I researched it (it’s in Southeast Asia). This wasn’t much information to go on, so I moved on with life pretty much forgetting about this occasion. I started community college and changed my major three times: psychology, journalism, then English. After taking classes at local community colleges, I graduated with my Associate of Arts degree in English.
That is the quick, tie it up in a bow explanation of what I did with my life up until I started this website, but let’s go deeper. My freshman year of high school, I began facing anxiety. The struggle began in rather subtly during my freshman year. It went from being a background character to grabbing my shoulders and walking behind me everywhere I went every day by the time I was a senior in high school. It got to a point where I could barely sleep, I didn’t eat much and developed stomach issues that caused me to lose tons of weight. After essentially living in the nurses office at my school and losing 20 pounds in a month, I was sent to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with panic and anxiety disorders. The anxiety followed me into college, despite the best efforts of my therapists (though they did teach me some wonderful coping mechanisms).
As for my faith journey, I was raised in a Christian home, and though I was raised to know who God was, I didn’t choose to make this faith my own until later in life. The winter of my second year of college, a friend took me to a college age group of Jesus followers. Spring break of my second year in college, I went with this group of college people down to Guadalupe Victoria, Mexico. It was on that trip that God revealed Himself to me and asked me to follow Him with my whole life, not just my loose moral compass. I said yes in that moment because I knew it was more real than anything I’d ever known before, and my life will never be the same. This was also the beginning of the end of my anxiety. Since that trip, I am thankful to say that I didn’t struggled with anxiety or panic attacks but very rarely for about four years, and it is thanks to the healing power of the Holy Spirit. I had struggled with sometimes debilitating anxiety nearly every day before that point.
After my first year of college, I began hearing about Agape International Missions (AIM). As I researched AIM, I discovered then that they were based primarily in Cambodia and worked with rescuing and rehabilitating women and children from human trafficking (sex trafficking specifically). This was a legit cause, and I wanted to be a part of it. As I became more passionate, I planned to take a trip to Cambodia the summer after my second year of college. The plans fell through when my anxiety got the best of me the winter of my second year of college but I had begun to save and had just enough to go to Mexico for spring break. In Mexico, I not only got healed from anxiety and encountered the LORD in a tangible way, but I discovered there that the church I was currently attending is a financial partner with AIM and does an annual trip to Cambodia to support them in whatever way they can. Once I committed my life to serving the LORD, I knew I had to go on this trip to Cambodia. In the fall of my third year of college, I went to Cambodia to work with AIM for two weeks in 2018. I went again for 2 weeks fall of 2019, which was my fourth year of college. It was a life changing experience, and I will always be passionate about rescuing and empowering young people. God continues to show me new ways to be a part of the cause.
In Mexico is also where the LORD lead me to explore Thrive School: a ministry school put on by my church that (at the time) partnered with Southeastern University (making them accredited). I applied to Thrive School, but didn’t follow through with going as they didn’t have an English degree option–that was the path academically I was on and had planned to do for myself. I stayed at community college my third year instead of transferring in order to get my AA degrees. Spring break my third year of college, I went to Mexico again. Holy Spirit told me to explore Thrive School again, but my heart was hardened. I didn’t want to go back to school after getting my AA degrees. About a month after Mexico, I was coaxed by a close friend/mentor and reluctantly went to an info night for Thrive School, and–at the end of the presentation–they prayed for the LORD to make it clear who was supposed to do Thrive and who was not. God confirmed that I was supposed to. So I did Thrive School fall 2019 – fall 2020.
I’ve always had a deep connection with and love for music from a young age. I did two years of concert choir in high school, and always wanted to learn how to play piano and guitar. After my first trip to Mexico, where I encountered God so tangibly for the first time in my life and had a personal understanding of Jesus, I started listening for Holy Spirit’s voice more. I committed my life to following the LORD’s call and got baptized that summer. The LORD put on my heart to really learn how to play guitar, so I got a book about it and started learning how to play on an old Ukrainian guitar that I got from my aunt. When I went to Cambodia for the first time, my team leader bought me a brand new guitar while we were there and told me to use it for the LORD’s glory. Thrive School helped me learn how to play piano and guitar well. Since then, I’ve written many songs with my guitar and keyboard. When I finally decided to live my life for the LORD, He gave me the ability and motivation to learn and write music.
The LORD also put a business plan on my heart for an age out foster housing system for young adults 18-25 who don’t have a place to go after they turn 18 in the Sacramento area (as Sacramento is statistically one of the highest human trafficking cities in the US). For this reason and in helping me get skills to work against sex trafficking both in the states and abroad, I am working on getting my Bachelor of Science degree in business. Thrive School was one of the first big steps in this direction. I learned leadership skills and how to deepen my relationship with the LORD and others. Additionally, I received useful information and context on Biblical truths through New and Old Testament classes taught through this program.
Much has happened since then, and you can read all about my life and keep up with me on this website through blog update posts I’ve written monthly since August 2019.
Check out my music anywhere you listen to music. My artist name is SALAH shadi, or you can visit my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@Salah-Shadi
To see some of my other creative projects, visit: https://www.youtube.com/@ShaeisBae-Hey/featured
For more information about Agape International Missions (AIM), visit their website at https://agapewebsite.org/about/#aims-story.
SHAE'S JOURNEY 